Here are excerpts from the funny list Tommie has put together on her blog, here are some of my favorites (to see the whole list check out her blog:
“You move the “spatter shield” from behind the stove to behind the blender.
You only shop the produce section and the toilet tissue aisle.
At first, people are interested in hearing about your lifestyle but after you talk for a minute or two, their eyes glaze over.
You say, “Breakfast will be ready in a second” and it really is…
You turn the top of your stove into a plant stand.
The biggest mixing bowl you own has been turned into your personal salad bowl.
You don’t read labels any more.
You’re on a mission to try every kind of fruit that grows on Mother Earth.
A dinner salad in a restaurant is an appetizer.
You get banned from every “all you can eat” salad bar in the area.
You don’t burn your hand fixing dinner.
The blender is the most important appliance in the kitchen.
You never buy clothes that fit. You buy them slightly too small so you can wear them longer.”
Again to see the whole list see the whole list check out her blog.
I would add one: You have lodged a sprout permanently into your laptop keyboard.